Member-only story
Springtime of Self
This is the springtime of my self awareness. I am coming into my own. I think I finally know myself. It has taken 55 years, but hello self. I must be a late self-awareness bloomer. I didn't really understand myself before. Maybe because I am thinking about the past more and more. Inspecting my insecurities and giving my self allowances for my faults.
Why am I the way that I am? Nature vs nurture? I rewind the rusty reels of my memory, to watch the little girl that was me. What happened to her? What did she go through to get here now? Did she suffer? Did she cry? Were her feelings hurt? Who hurt her and why? Who was kind to her? How did that effect her?
I investigate my life as that little girl(myself). I need to be kinder to her(myself). That little girl back there needs my help and care. She was so sensitive and frail. Did she break along the way? Could things have turned out differently for her and me? Does it even matter to the present me?
I finally have found empathy for that little girl. I must reach back and tell her it’s going to be okay. You’re fine, it’s the rest of the world that is broken, not you! Don't blame yourself little one. Dry your tears. I comfort her, as only I know what she went through.
She looks up at me with her deep blue, sad eyes. The healing begins. I smile and she smiles back. I take her hand and pull her into the future with me. I sit her down next to me and she knows she is safe now. I hear the joyful chirping of birds at the window. This is the springtime of our convergence. We both smile and allow a sigh of relief. Now I know her, and she knows me. She is safe now. We are both safe. Thanks for reading!
