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Leave Lashes to Llama, Ladies!
Who wants to explain to the aliens why we glue spiders to our eyelids? Yes, I understand that long, fake eyelashes have made a fashion statement comeback! Yes, I know that some are magnetic, not glue. We even have the nerve to name some of them “llama lashes”. Yes, I may just be jealous, that I too, cannot partake of this beauty trick. I know, I am too old and lame. Plus, I am allergic to everything, so I am sure that if I put glue anywhere near my eyes, I would swell up like a balloon.
It just so happens that I have nice, natural lashes of my own. I know this because my mom put me in modeling school when I was young. The only good thing they ever complimented me about was, “You have nice lashes.” Wow! Thanks! Is there a lot of eyelash modeling needed? Well, I didn't make the cut, imagine that!
Well, just saying, they look super uncomfortable. On humans, not llamas. Or alpacas. I had a friend who wore them all the time, and it drove me nuts! I think she slept in them. She would fidget with them constantly. Sometimes, the corner of one would peel off, and her lash would dangle helplessly, while she talked. I felt sorry for it! When she talked, everyone spent the whole time trying not to concentrate solely on the eye spiders. One time, she lost one during an office food party! I inspected everything I ate.
